Elliot, now 22, felt isolated, confused, and misunderstood navigating gender identity in his early teenage years. For five years, from ages 10 to 15, he lived with an internal contradiction that shaped every interaction, every friendship, every moment at school. He felt like he was lying to everyone who knew him, caught constantly in what he describes as gender limbo, not belonging on either side of the binary gender stereotypes his school reinforced.
He attended a private school with religious connections, gendered blazers, insufficient sexuality education, and some staff who were homophobic and transphobic. This environment made authentic self-expression feel impossible. His family's move to Victoria became the breaking point and catalyst for his coming out when he was 15. It felt like a fresh start; he was moving away from an environment where he felt restricted and where everyone knew him.
What happened next matters. His parents were very supportive and helped him access gender-affirming treatment. Going through the gender clinic with his psychologist and paediatrician at 15, then accessing hormone therapy at 17, made him feel like he had autonomy in his life. The difference was immediate. He has felt more like himself and more genuine since coming out seven years ago.
Elliot's experience aligns with what research tells us about trans youth in Australia. Young trans people who felt supported to affirm their gender medically, legally, or socially reported less suicidal ideation and self-harm in the past 12 months, as well as lower psychological distress, lower anxiety, and greater happiness. Support matters. Affirmation works.
Yet the landscape remains uneven. Almost 3 per cent of the school-age population in Australia identify as transgender or gender diverse, though this is likely significantly underreported due to rapid growth in social acceptance. Almost three-quarters of trans young people experience anxiety or depression. Around two-thirds experience discrimination and/or family rejection. Schools vary wildly in their support. Some create affirming environments where using the correct name and pronouns is strongly associated with positive wellbeing and can reduce mental health risks. Others remain hostile or indifferent.
What stands out in Elliot's reflection is his clarity about what was actually at stake. The topic of trans healthcare for youth can be emotionally charged and provokes stark divisions of opinion. However, he notes it's ironic that the source of tension seems to be concern about children's well-being. He thinks anyone, regardless of their position on gender-affirming care, would agree the safety, health and happiness of children is important.
Elliot doesn't speak on behalf of every trans person. He simply wants to emphasise that trans people are people too. It is a simple statement, but in a moment when medical pathways for trans youth are becoming restricted in parts of the world and Australia, it deserves to be heard as a grounding truth beneath the policy debates.
If you or someone you know is struggling with gender identity or mental health, Lifeline is available on 13 11 14.